Lessons in Patience

Recently it has seemed like things are going by very slow. I am so eager to move, so eager to start this journey. I've got so many plans and dreams running through my head all day it's hard to have patience. Some days I think I can't do this. I can't stay in the States, finish school, raise support, and THEN go. I want to go NOW! That is what I find myself screaming at God like a disgruntled child. I remember when I was about 8 years old I wanted an Aaron Carter CD called "Aaron's Party Come and Get It" so desperately that I couldn't stop talking about it. If you don't remember Aaron Carter, he was the quintessential 90's bleach blonde tween singer that had stolen the hearts of every American girl, including me. I woke up singing "I Want Candy" and went to sleep singing "That's How I Beat Shaq". Anyways, you get my point. I was obsessed. I nagged my mom daily about the CD, and she kept telling me to be patient, and that yes I was going to get the CD. But that wasn't good enough for me. I wanted it NOW. So after a few days of being so completely obnoxious about it, my mom took me into her room, opened the door of her closet, reached behind some clothes and pulled out the CD. "Here," she said, "It was going to be a present for your birthday, but here ya go." Oh man. As I held the CD in my hands that I had so desperately desired for what seemed like so long, I was crushed. I had ruined my birthday surprise. Now I wouldn't get to rip the wrapping paper off, or pop it in my new Walkman on my birthday. I sat cross legged with my chin in my hands in front of my sister's boombox and listened, NOT on my birthday, and with no friends around to enjoy it with me. What a bummer. It would have been so much more exciting, so much more fulfilling if I had been patient and waited. Fast forward to present day, I am a single mom, 1 child living with me, and 3 living half way around the world, with a dream to minister and love the people of La Moskitia and I find myself back to the place I was when I was 8. I don't want to be patient. I don't want to wait. I want to go NOW. But I realize that if I were to pick up tomorrow and move back to Honduras without completing my degree, without fulfilling my promises and commitments here in the States, it wouldn't be quite as sweet. Sure, it would be good, just like having that Aaron Carter CD was good, but it won't be AS good as stepping off of that plane in May 2014 in Puerto Lempira, raising my hands high and knowing that I did it! After all of the hard work, I will be able pick up my girls and tell them that I will NEVER have to leave them again. Oh, how I long for that day! Alas, I learn daily lessons in patience (something that I will definitely need as a missionary), and take comfort in the fact that the girls, until I can be with them, are well fed and happy with people that I trust will care for them.